It’s easy to blame the tools. This story in the Baltimore Sun (Alleged murder plot described as parents, police step up efforts to protect teens) will be one of many where people blast Kik and similar apps and worry how to make the apps safe. The goal should be making the kids safe, not protecting them from apps or social media. The elephant in the room is the need for media and technology literacy supported by parents engaging with their kids about technology use. Technology opens the door to social media which is an extension of “real life” with real world consequences, not some “other” unreal place. There are no boundaries like we pretend. The real issue here isn’t what technology this poor girl used to connect with the murderous teens (and why aren’t we talking about why they would do such a heinous thing?), but about making good decisions across many domains. Teens and tweens ALWAYS want to do be more grown up. This reporter asked me why kids would do something so dangerous since there are reports of these kinds of things in the paper. We have to realize that the information kids get comes from other kids. Those stories won’t be about things going wrong, they will be about cool things they did on apps they aren’t supposed to be using. The human brain doesn’t reach maturity until our mid-twenties. What’s missing? Impulse control, the ability to project and plan ahead, and the ability to evaluate risk. This is learned over time as the brain develops.
Technology opens the door to social media which is an extension of “real life” with real world consequences, not some “other” unreal place. There are no boundaries like we pretend. The real issue here isn’t what technology this poor girl used to connect with the murderous teens (and why aren’t we talking about why they would do such a heinous thing?), but about making good decisions across many domains. It’s about communication that is based on trust between parents and teens. This is something that has to be started early and maintained by investing time and energy into keeping that pathway open. Teens and tweens ALWAYS want to do be more grown up. This reporter asked me why kids would do something so dangerous since there are reports of these kinds of things in the paper. We have to realize that the information kids get comes from other kids. Those stories won’t be about things going wrong, they will be about cool things they did on apps they aren’t supposed to be using. The human brain doesn’t reach maturity until our mid-twenties. What’s missing? Impulse control, the ability to project and plan ahead, and the ability to evaluate risk. This is learned over time as the brain develops.
Teens and tweens ALWAYS want to do be more grown up. (Little do they know that being grown-up isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.) This reporter asked me why kids would do something so dangerous since there are reports of these kinds of things in the paper. We have to realize that the information kids get comes from other kids. Those stories won’t be about things going wrong, they will be about cool things they did on apps they aren’t supposed to be using. The human brain doesn’t reach maturity until our mid-twenties. What’s missing? Impulse control, the ability to project and plan ahead, and the ability to evaluate risk. This is learned over time as the brain develops. Without ground rules to fall back on or a parent or mentor to talk to, kids do really stupid and dangerous things. Most social media activity is fun and can actually deliver psychological benefits. But just like the real world, we need to learn how to drive these powerful engines of connectivity.
A good resource for parents is: Cyberwise www.cyberwise.org.
Dr. Pamela Rutledge is available to reporters for comments on the psychological and social impact of media and technology on individuals, society, organizations and brands. 